Divorcee Vs Widow

9 Nov 2009

Divorcee and widow both do not have husband, but both are not treated by society in the same way.

Widow receives sympathy from the society whereas divorcee does not. Widow re-marriage is still considered as a sacred thing among men. Widow remarriage is encouraged by the society. The person who marries a widow would be given special status, one step above the normality, a sacrificer, done something strange but appreciable.

Divorcee remarriage does not have the social encouragement and auspicious status of widow remarriage. The man who marry a divorced woman does not have the recognition of a man who marry a widow. This is irrespective of having children or not.

The social status of a divorcee and widow is same in reality. Both do not have their male partner. The economic status of both are same in 21st century.

Till my last generation, women was not economically independent. She depends on her husband for economic needs. When her husband dies, she has to depend on her brothers or parents for her living. So the society give sympathy to a widow since she is financially broke after her husband dies at normal cases.

Today, women is almost educated and have economic independence. Even her husband dies, her economic condition is intact. She goes to work for her living instead of depending on her parents or brothers.

A widow of 21st century does not deserve the sympathy shown till the end of 20th century due to their economic dependability.

As far as widow and divorcee in current generation, the economic condition is same. But still men see widow with a sympathy which is not needed now.

Both widow and divorcee does not need any sympathy in 21st century.

But still men hesitate to marry a divorcee than widow. There is a divocee and a widow whose age, beauty, and economic status are same. But a man's choice for marriage would be a widow than a divorcee. A widow is having more chances of getting remarried than divorcee. Still men see a divorcee and widow differently.

What makes the difference between divorcee and widow still?

The reason goes deep into the male chauvinised society.

The man(husband) who had sex with a widower is no more. He is dead. The second man who remarry a widow does not have any psychological or ego thorn since she had sex with another man. Because who is already dead. He is not going to meet her previous husband by any means.

The man(husband) who had sex with a divorcee is still alive. He is not dead. The second man who remarry a divorcee 'may' have the psychological or ego thorn. There are chances he may meet his predecessor(s).

Some of my readers asked me to write about widow remarriage after reading my previous post 'Divorce Vs Adultery'. Indirectly request me to write about widows rather than divorcees. Even a reader from bangalore said he is ready to marry a widow.

I was confused why the widows has special status over divorcees? I find a feeling of sacrifing, a 'respectable act' still attached to widow remarriage. Divorcee remarriage does not have such tagging.

The chances of widow marrying a 'fresh man' is more than the chances of divorcee marrying a 'fresh man'. Many divorcees end up with marrying a man who is already divorced or a widower. Their chances of marrying a fresh man is meek.

Man is ready to have sex with both divorcee and widow, but he is more willing to endorse a widow as his 'wife' than a divorce if the age, beauty and economic status are same to both.

Men has to changes their views towards widow and divorcee. Both should be perceived in the same manner.

In the early 19th century, Rajaram Mohan Roy and some of his contemporaries fought against 'SATI', encouraged widow remarriage and conducted many social campaign to create the awareness of widow remarriage and women's rights.

Now divorcee remarriage needs such 'propeller' and social campaigns.

This article is written according to the divorcee prone Indian middle class society where the fathers of old tradition can digest to see their daughter as widow, but can not digest to see their daughter as divorcee.

Till the beginning of 21st century, Indian middle class section had less number of divorcees than widows.